surrender...

Have had this song running through my head today....

I Surrender- Phil Laeger

I surrender my life to Your blood
I surrender my name for Your glory
I surrender my heart to Your will
I surrender my dreams to the plans You have for me
Thank You for showing me the emptiness of all I held onto
I surrender it all,
I surrender my everything for You

candle....

So its been a bit of a turbulant time recently in a few areas of my life. Tonight , after a run of events, i was particularly 'angsty'... But God is SO good! All afternoon i've had 'candle of the Lord' (yes, an old songster piece.. ness= dork! lol)I couldn't remember all of the lyrics, so I decided to look it up....

How great the darkness
How deep the need!
How vast the problems of indiff'rence, hate and greed.
A world rejecting the truth once known
And slipping down into a nightmare of its own.
Is there a LIGHT that's strong enough to go,
And metamorphasize the darkness that we know.

I am the candle of the Lord,
And truth and love more powerful than sword!
O fan the flame, its single gleam diffuse,
AND LET MY SPIRIT BE THE LIGHT THAT YOU CAN USE.
I am the candle of the Lord!

Thanks for that reminder God!

No matter the circumstances around us (which sometimes are completely out of our control), I pray that God can use us as His light in the darkness. I pray that we'll keep focussed on Him always. I pray that we'll be truth tellers, even if that means rejection.

Just gotta keep at it!

For Him Alone
Ness :-)

Intimacy.....

So the blogs have been a bit lacking lately! Sorry for that (I'm still not sure how many people actually read this! but hey! why not?! lol)

Something that I have been really challenged about recently is how intimate I am with God. Now, let me tell you now, intimacy is NOT something that is only experienced between a couple. So I thought I'd look up what intimacy means (God Bless google!) and I got "feeling or atmosphere of closeness and openness towards someone else,"

Which to me makes loads of sense. And it only begins to explain what God desires to have with us. He doesn't want us to settle for having a mediocre, luke warm relationship with him. He desires to have a really deep, intimate relationship with us.

When I think about this, I get this visual picture in my mind (I am a VERY visual person!). And I get this image of a loving father, with his outstretched arm, inviting us to join Him. He's become vulnerable, making the first move. And then He waits for our response. Will we reach out and meet Him halfway? We have to desire that deep and intimate relationship and then make steps towards it. God isn't going to force it on us.

While thinking about this, something that really struck me was how gracious God is towards us when we turn away from Him. I'm not saying that He wants us to turn away from Him, but just how amazing He is when we want to come back to Him. His grace abounds. It just blows me away every time.

If you haven't gathered already, I'm a massive Brooke Fraser fan. She has this beautiful song (one of many) called Hymn. When I heard this song, I had just been reading Hosea. If you aren't familiar with the story of Hosea, God asked Hosea to go and marry the town prostitute Gomer. Hosea knew that Gomer would be unfaithful, but because God had said to marry her, Hosea did.

Does that blow you away?! God says go and marry a prostitute buddy, one thats going to cheat on you?! ... I'd be saying "are you nuts God". But Hosea did it. Such faith.

And as foretold, Gomer was unfaithful, and I'd be guessing that Hosea was getting a bit fed up. But God speaks to Hosea again and says "Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress. Love her as the LORD loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes."(Hosea 3:1) So Hosea went and gathered his shekels of silver, and bought Gomer back to be his wife for the rest of their days.

GO AND LOVE HER AGAIN?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are you serious?! God is asking Hosea to go and love his adulterous life again?! And He does. Such love. Such grace.

If we bring this story to our level today, who represents what character? I don't know about anyone else but

Hosea= God
Gomer= Humans
Gomer= Me.

How many times do we run off doing other things, other than living our lives for God. And you know what, it may not even be the "naughty things" that Christians often feel guilty for. Its often the much more subtle things that draw us away from that deep and intimate relationship with God.

Discontentment, jealousy, greed, lust, idolatry, envy, laziness, etc... the list goes on.

But God desires us so much that even though we turn our back on Him, he loves us AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!! ......

I don't know about you, but that just blows me away. again, and again, and again.

Brooke Fraser- Hymn

If to distant lands I scatter
If I sail to farthest seas
Would you find and firm and gather 'til I only dwell in Thee?
If I flee from greenest pastures
Would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after
'Til I only dwell in Thee

If my heart has one ambition
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision 'til I only dwell in Thee
That I only dwell in Thee
'Til I only dwell in Thee


I pray that I'll only want to dwell in God. He is all I need. He is all you need. He is the only one that can make us whole. Nothing, and no one else will ever be able to make us complete.

For Him Alone

Ness

wasting time...

For the last couple of months I've had this thought running through my mind... "stop wasting time". It's almost become a bit of a burden on my heart. Actually, not almost. It has. Full stop.

A little while ago I posted a song by Brooke Fraser called "Hosea's wife". It's become a bit of an anthem for me lately. Some of the words have really impacted me and stayed on my heart. Particularly the bit where she sings about we were created for a purpose. We are more than dust. That means something! .... And where she asks what do we live for?!

What do you live for?! Do you live for yourself or for God?

Do you live for His will or yours?

Are you squandering this life?

This life that has a limit... a life where days can't be re-lived...

And I get this image of a church on fire. A church full of Holy, passionate people, who have a deep and intimate relationship with their loving heavenly Father. A people who truly believe that God can do amazing things in and through them. Things beyond their wildest dreams. A people who will allow Gods Holy Spirit to do an unimaginable work in them. I know so many Christians who have such amazing potential to do amazing things for the Kingdom, but they just don't believe in themselves! They don't see in themselves the qualities they have to offer. They don't believe they can do it. Oh God please give these people a self belief, and more importantly a belief that we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.

I dream of a church who realises that we can no longer squander our lives. No longer believing lies that the world tells us.

I dream of a church who truly desire to be more like Jesus. Who search their hearts, asking God to show them what isn't pleasing in His eyes. And then, CHANGE! .... A people who want to see this world through Gods eyes and not their own.

Everyone lives for something?

What do you live for?

A lot of questions hey... and maybe a bit of Ness babble... but something to ponder on..

For Him Alone
Ness :-)

sin nature.....

Yesterday I was going for a walk along the lake, pondering on many things. Something that I thought about, processed and prayed about for a while was this thing called "sin nature".

You see, we as humans stuff up. Often. I do. You do. We all do. Sometimes I ignore it and go on living in sin. But eventually God catches up with me and convicts me of what I'm doing wrong. Then I deal with it, knowing that it has no place in my life, and is bringing no glory to the name of God.

So I make changes in my life to ensure that that particular sin doesn't come creeping back into my life. But then out of no where, WHA BAM! it rears its ugly head! ... I let my guard down, and it creeps back in. Its that easy. Sometimes I get frustrated with myself because It just seems so much easier to sin than to do good.

The good news is that Jesus has the victory over my sins. I should be dead for the sins I commit everyday. Sin has no place in the eyes of God. But I serve a gracious God who gave me an alternative to death. Jesus.

At one particularly point on my walk yesterday, there was a pretty disgusting smell coming from the lake. One that often happens during low tide. And i wondered to myself, "is this what sin smells like to God?" It was a pretty rank smell. It almost made me puke. If only I had this kind of reaction every time I sinned. Maybe that would deter me...

I want to live a life that is pleasing to God. One that brings glory and honour to His name. But i'm not perfect. And I will sin again. Unfortunately its part of my fallen nature. But God can have the victory if we continually surrender it to Him, and allow Him to continually mould us into the people He wants us to be.

I was also reminded about how patient God is with us when we sin. Its like a father watching His child learn to walk. The child falls over every now and then. Perhaps its often. But the father gently comes along side their child, holds their hands and says lovingly "up you get". How patient. How amazing.

Gods grace hey... isn't it overwhelming?!

For Him Alone
Ness :-)

What do you live for?

I was driving along the other day and this song by Brooke Fraser came on... and it really made me think, what do I live for? I particularly like the chorus... if we've eyes to see? if we've ears to hear.... How different would we see things if we prayed to see them through Gods eyes?

Hoseas wife- Brooke Fraser
I just spoke silence with the seeker next to me
She had a heart with hesitant, halting speech
That turned to mine and asked belligerently
What do I live for?

I see the scars of searches everywhere I go
From hearts to wars to literature to radio
There's a question like a shame no one will show
What do I live for?

We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using people like ladders and words like knives

If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths
The word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin

There is truth in little corners of our lives
There are hints of it in songs and children's eyes
It's familiar, like an ancient lullaby
What do I live for?

We are more than dust, That means something
That means something

We are more than just, Blood and emotions
Inklings and notions, Atoms and Oceans

Oh God give me a heart that searches for more. That finds its purpose from you. You created me for more than just a mediocre experience..

For Him Alone
Ness

walking by faith...

Hello from Newcastle!

That's right, I'm back here in Newcastle, after finishing up in Melbourne on the 23rd! The last week or so has been really interesting, and to be honest, really hard! Much harder than i anticipated.

The last week i've been considering how i'm going to take what i've learnt in 2008, and apply it to my own 'world' up here in Newcastle. How do I not change back to the nowhere near as passionate person I was before 2008? How do I deal with the tension between the life I was living, and the comforts I can now 'enjoy'? How do I stay encouraged and onfire when I'm no longer closely surrounded by a group of people who are on the same wavelength, with the same passion and committment?

The answers to all of the above are "i'm not sure!", but what I do know is with God all things are possible. I know He has led me back here to Newcastle for a reason, but until I figure out that reason (other than finishing uni of course!), I have to walk by faith, even when I cannot see. I have to empty myself of all of my desires and seek God, knowing that He has a good and perfect (but perhaps not easy) will for my life...

I was sitting in the car this morning, and this song by Jeremy Camp came on. Its simple, but Its the prayer of my heart at the moment. More of Him and less of me.

Holy Fire, burn away. My desire for anything
That is not of you, and is of me
I want more of you, and less of me

Empty Me, Empty Me,

Well won't you empty me, well won't you empty me now
I want more, I want more, I want more of you, Jesus.
I want more, I want more.

Thank you Jesus, Thank you Jesus.

Amen

For Him Alone
Ness